Drive

The story can be told in different ways, and not everything we do has the same explanation around the world. If I accept that truth, the question would be: How to explain, in that logic, these group of things we do and we can't explain why we did it? Those things we don't rationalize that we understand as instinct. I've been thinking about how the process of building a relationship, of any kind, is really determined by the way we exchange our experience in the world: the way we speak, the way we eat, the way we do things. It comes to my mind when we were kids and our needs were really basic, but then when we grow up to find new ones already established, there's not much we can do to avoid them. I just think we give more importance to the ones that depends on others believes, than those born from the depths of our being. Sometimes influences are so strong that can even transform what we are and I think that's nice, because it can be determined by the most unusual things, like a talk about the smell and the way we breath, it could get to be really expansive and to me that's just awesome.

I introduced what I'm about to expose this way, because when I don't rationalize things that I do with others and I'm not thinking about the results or benefits I can get, I'm being real. So that's why I wish I could be myself all the time, and I also believe that if your spirit can at least orbit around one single person in the world, that should make you feel blessed. I know I could get many different results from that, but thinking about it before I do anything is just not worth it. I'm not saying people shouldn't have hope; hope is different from calculation. You loose that incredible experience of the unknown, and then you're not surprised by anything because you start to do everything as a machine. I'm not saying that everybody is gonna make a huge impact in your life, I'm not saying that's the way it is supposed to be. I'm just saying that is nice to be willing to accept that, that's all.

When you get the experience of having a first unintentional contact with somebody and after a while you find out that this thing has grown up so much, that is a connection far beyond the boundaries of time and space, you feel alive. Even if some of the things you do in life are mechanical, that tiny little moment of your life gives it more meaning than anything. Fortunately, I've experienced that and thinking about the main subject here, wich is how to understand the things we do without a plan different from instinct, I found out that one of the best and most valuable sources of happiness in my life has been one single moment, with one single person. Wich for sure I would've rejected to live if I would've thought it was right or wrong. Not because I think I can make that statement, just because I would've been confused. Throwing myself into water, I learned to swim. And my confusion didn't even need to be solved. Anything is bad or wrong, is just the way it is. So my next question would be: How can something so beautiful and truthful be born from an impulsive act? and How can I transform the "Follow your instinct" motto to something meaningful?

Well, I've been reading about the "humans have no instinct" subject, in order to find a different perspective, and what I found out is that many people have decided to believe in this while many others don't. One perspective says we don't have instinct, because that's an animal behavior, and humans are different from animals. Another one says everytime we have to rationally choose from an action to other. A third point of view says that what we understand as instinct is really our culture, that we created needs and its logical responses to build society. Instincts become different tendencies to respond in a certain way to an event, whose possible occurence have been thought previously. I'm not trying to give an answer to this question, because I'm more willing to make more questions about it. What I do believe is that we don't need explanations to many of the things we try to explain, so we need to understand that some forces we can't see, we can't explain, but those forces have real impact in our behavior. Those are our real motivations our drive.

Freud's drive theory, is "based on the principle that organisms are born with certain physiological needs and that a negative state of tension is created when these needs are not satisfied." So we practically need needs to have drives, but my entire life I've noticed that we're trying to reduce and solve our needs, so by doing that we're just trying to reduce our motivations. When I imagine a world without needs, I feel it would be kind of boring. But the next second I think that, I remember that my needs could be way different from others, and I also think it could be easier for some people to solve their needs than for others. I have many kind of needs, and some of them I'm not able to solve with money, or any material object. There are so many boundaries, and I've been trying to blur them. So no matter where the situation, the culture, the context put us, if I can get any conclusion out of all this, right now my motto would be just "drive".